So i'm a little bit worried about uni work, even though i feel i have tried a lot harder than last year, because this year is harder, it doesn't mean much :/ I was a bad girl and played Warcraft for most of Friday/Saturday, and now i feel like a terrible person so today is COURSEWORK day!

Oh i am also back to RED! You know, since i got my hair cut about 2-3 months ago, its been red, brown, red, blue, purple and back to red...




No luck on the xmas jobs front :( applied to loads of places but nothing back at all T_T means i'm poor for over xmas :/

On Thursday Malcolm, Rob, another girl (can't remember her name) and I went to the Games Quiz in the union, which turned out to be pretty abysmal since the guy who wrote the questions is apparently an import freak, and all the questions were EXTREMELY obscure, and i mean not even anywhere near normal obscure. But still it got us out the house. I think the funniest point of the night was actually in the taxi home, when we passed the galleries and Rob said "what are they doing to Hogwarts anyway?" in the most innocent voice ever, it was just such a concerned genuine tone :D i think the driver thought we were a bit weird.

I am also class rep for my class, go me! Should remake my CV now and put that on hahaha.

Over the last 2 weeks i have been feeling a bit crazy. One minute i'm happy, the next i'm...well, not. I guess its just being a girl in general, but there were points last week where i felt really trapped and wanted to scream. I think living at home again is taking its toll, since my mother still has the problem of not understanding how hard my work can be. When I do work all day, she moans about not doing chores, and when i do some chores, she moans about not doing enough, or doing something wrong. I guess sometimes i just feel a bit underappreciated. Its not that she is mean, she just doesn't understand that mental work can be as tiring as physical.

I think the the time is approaching, i need to have my own space, my own life starting. Sometimes i feel as though i'm still 15 and have to abide and report directly to my parents about any little thing, and i just want to be able to relax a bit, be my own boss so to speak. I can't wait until i move out again, but not because of my family, because i want to be my own person. I suppose i will just have to wait until Malc finishes uni and see what we can do about things from there. It seems like such a long time away. Because of all this, i feel as though i'm pressuring him into things too...

When Malcolm gets ill it affects me too. Obviously not as much as it affects him, but i get really worried, even if there is nothing to worry about. I just remember what it was like waking up ill almost every single day for a long time, and after a while it starts to sap your soul away, you really think you will be like that forever, and i don't ever want him to feel pain or sadness...

Well i suppose i shouldn't put coursework off any longer. The sooner i get it finished, the sooner i can work getting my own site all jazzed up. or down. or whatever the hell i'm going to do to it. If i don't get a job for xmas (its looking pretty unlikely that i will) then i guess i will just work on my website and such. Get fat, all the rest of the good winter traditions :)

Hope everyone is well :)